Pie and Cookies
by Alt.Magnus
Summary: RJ goes out to look for Hammy one early summer night and ends up resolving some long standing issues and discovering many more endearing qualities of his new love.


**Pie and Cookies**

"For tomorrow's forecast, it will be slightly cloudy with a small chance of rain. However, as you can see from the map behind me, the low pressure area that has brought us heavy rains over the past few weeks is finally moving away and we can look forward to days of fun in the sun. Yay." The monotone weatherman reported.

"Weak." RJ yawned, disgusted at the dumb joke, bored out of his mind just listening to the listless tone of the fat, balding human speaking about the weather as if they could really do anything to control it.

And besides, a nice shower of rain never hurt anyone. He and the family, with the exception of the aquaphobic Tiger and the cold-blooded Verne, always had fun just running around and splashing in the puddles.

Then again, they did occasionally catch a cold for not drying off as soon as they should. He remembered Hammy doting on him for over a week when he caught a rather nasty cold, feeding him chicken noodle soup and a ton of orange juice that Stella and Penny had imposed upon the ill during that time.

He absolutely hated it.

But Hammy knew exactly how he felt about it. Once in a while, when no one else was looking, especially Stella or Penny, he would sneak in some Spuddies and they would just chow down the entire can together.

Ah, how he loved Hammy.

The first few days of spring were a rather trying time for the two of them. He never knew that Hammy had developed feelings for him until one very embarrassing incident involving a rather nasty drink caller beer. It took many heart-wrenching conversations, life-threatening incidents, and a lot of soul searching for him to realize how much the young squirrel meant to him.

Smiling to himself, thinking back to those events weeks ago, he was convinced that, as harrowing as the experience was, he would not have it any other way, now that he had Hammy. He couldn't ask for anything more than love of the hyperactive, lovable squirrel that meant the world to him.

"To recap, tomorrow, it will be slightly cloudy with a small chance of rain. So don't forget your umbrella, your raincoat, or your scuba gear. Haha, get it?"

"Oh, shut up already." RJ shut off the TV with the universal remote and tossed it aside, no longer interested in watching anything else on the idiot tube. "Ten thousand channels and that's the best you got?" RJ scoffed.

As he made himself comfortable on his chair, he noticed that Hammy hadn't come back yet from his playtime with Quillo, Bucky, and Spike. It was getting a little late, the large, silver Moon just hanging over the horizon above the suburbs, the sounds of human activity over the hedge growing silent with the passing of each minute. It was time to sleep and Hammy was nowhere to be found.

"Hammy!" RJ called out, wondering if he was anywhere close. He hopped off of his chair and decided to seek Hammy out, to bring him back home for a good night's sleep with him.

"Hammy!" RJ inspected the nearby trees and shrubs, wondering what Hammy could be doing to keep him out so late. As he passed by the log, he held his tongue. He decided to look in on the rest of the family to see if they were sleeping soundly.

"Ah, looks like you guys are out cold." RJ said to himself, observing everyone inside of the log. Stella was wrapped up with Tiger, Quillo, Bucky, and Spike between Lou and Penny, and Heather resting her head on Ozzie's belly.

And then there was Verne. He was sleeping on his belly, snoring ever so…

SNIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKK!

"Okay. Next time, I'm getting you one of those weird strips things or that spray stuff for your snoring." RJ said, pressing his ears to his head, Verne's snoring getting to him. He had to hand it to the family for being able to sleep through that kind of noise. He never did like it, which was one of the reasons why he slept apart from the family. Speaking of which, he still had to find Hammy.

"Hammy, where in the world are you?" RJ looked up to the night sky, wondering if, as many humans did, the stars could show him the way.

Then he squinted his eyes.

"Hammy?" RJ looked to the tree branch just above the log and saw a faint shadow: A squirrel-shaped shadow. "Hammy!" RJ ran up to the tree and quickly scaled his way up the trunk.

"Hammy, there you are." RJ said as he stood up on the branch where Hammy perched on. Hammy turned around and what he saw just took his breath away.

Hammy's emerald eyes seemed to shine as bright as the Moon right in front of him, a soft, semi-iridescent halo seeming to frame the handsome squirrel.

"Whoa… you look so… so cool, RJ." Hammy spoke.

"What?" RJ found his voice, surprised at Hammy's words.

"Your fur was glowing, almost as white as the Moon itself, and your eyes…" Hammy made his way to RJ and, coming to rest in his arms, stared right up to his eyes.

His eyes…

RJ couldn't help himself as he closed his eyes and pulled Hammy into a tight embrace for a kiss. He just looked so handsome, almost angelic. He just felt the need to express the rush of emotions that he felt just thinking about him, how it just seemed so perfect a picture and representation of Hammy.

And what better way to show his feelings than with a long, satisfying kiss.

"I liked that." Hammy said as he cuddled up to RJ, pressing his head against his chest, cooing happily.

"Hey Hammy," RJ spoke gently to his boyfriend. "What were you doing up here anyways?" RJ asked with a little interest, especially considering why Hammy never told him how romantic it was up here.

"I was just thinking about something." Hammy replied a little hesitantly.

"Oh, about what?" RJ asked, a little concerned at Hammy's tone.

"It's… it's nothing." Hammy replied, still resisting. "It's silly, nothing really important."

"Come on, Hammy." RJ gently raised Hammy's chin up and looked to him with gentle eyes. "You can tell me." He said to him sweetly. "Please." Hammy couldn't deny RJ, not when he had that look in his eyes, not when he asked him so kindly.

"I…" Hammy mustered up his courage. "I came up here to look at the Moon." Hammy started.

"Oh? How come?" RJ continued.

"I always wondered…" Hammy was still unsure of himself, but, looking up to RJ, he formed his resolve to ask the question. "what the Moon was made of." As silly as it was.

…

"So what do you think it's made of?" RJ asked him, stroking Hammy's back gently after feeling the little guy tense up after telling him his reason.

"Huh?" Hammy was taken aback at RJ's response, expecting him to be laughing, telling him what a silly reason it was, to reinforce the inanity of it all. But RJ just looked at him, smiling gently as ever.

"Do you think it's made of cheese? Or rock?" RJ asked him for his opinion. "What do you think?" He asked Hammy again.

"I think…" Hammy couldn't believe that RJ was actually taking him seriously. "I think the Moon is a big sugar cookie." He told RJ what he thought.

"Really?" RJ replied thoughtfully. "That sounds interesting." He showed genuine interest in Hammy's theory.

"Thanks, RJ." Hammy gave RJ a big hug, overwhelmingly happy that RJ was actually taking his opinion seriously, even as absurd as his opinion was. To think that RJ took him this seriously on such a silly little thing, it must mean the bigger things were so much more important to him.

It felt so good to know that what he said, no matter what it was, RJ valued what he had to say.

"You're more than welcome, Hammy." RJ sighed and kissed the top of his head.

"RJ?" Hammy looked up to him.

"Yeah, Hammy?" RJ tilted his head, wondering what Hammy was going to ask him.

"Well, since you asked me and I told you my answer..." Hammy started. "What do you think the Moon is made of?" He asked.

"Well…" RJ scratched his head, thinking of his answer. "The humans say that the Moon is actually a big piece of rock, made up of different types of stuff, which is the reason why you see those strange spots and streaks on the Moon." RJ turned Hammy around and, holding onto Hammy close to him with one hand, pointed out the noticeably different features that marred the face of the Moon. "And they say the reason why the Moon glows is not because it burns hot like the Sun in the morning, but it's actually really cold, that it acts like a mirror, in reality reflecting the sunlight from the opposite side of the world, causing it to glow like that."

"Really?" Hammy asked, amazed at all that RJ was telling him. He secretly smiled inside, kinda enjoying the fact that his boyfriend was so smart.

"Yeah. The humans even say that they've been to the Moon, that they have actually landed on it and picked up some rocks from the Moon." RJ continued.

"So they actually have a piece of the Moon?" Hammy asked excitedly.

"Well, that's what they say they have." RJ told Hammy his opinion. "Some other, more skeptical humans think that the Moon landing might be just a made up story, that they never really got there." RJ told him.

"How come?" Hammy wondered why the humans would fake such a story like that, landing on the Moon and everything.

"Don't know." RJ shrugged his shoulders, wondering why himself.

"Well, that what the humans think." Hammy pointed out. "What do you think it's made of?" Hammy asked again.

"I think…" RJ grinned, not believing that he was about to say what he really thought. "I think the moon is actually a big pie."

"A big pie? Why?" Hammy asked, leaning up to him, interested to know how RJ came up with his opinion.

"You know..." RJ grinned as an idea began to form in his wily mind. "Why don't I show you?" RJ told Hammy.

"Really?" Hammy hopped excitingly, wanting to see a piece of the moon.

"Yeah." RJ nodded as he backed up to the main trunk of the tree. "Let me got get some, okay!" RJ smiled to Hammy.

"Okay!" Hammy laughed. "Be careful, okay!" Hammy said to RJ, who nodded back before disappearing down the trunk of the tree.

Hammy sat down to one side of the branch, watching RJ run quickly to the log, eagerly awaiting RJ's return with his gift from the moon.

He didn't have to wait very long.

"Hey Hammy!"

"WHA!" Hammy nearly jumped off of the branch, but RJ caught him with his arm, hugging him tight.

"Now don't go and jump out on me, Hammy." RJ joked.

"Not without bringing you along for the ride." Hammy shot back, giggling. He looked at the package that RJ had in his hand.

"Here Hammy, this is for you." RJ, seeing that Hammy noticed what he had brought with him, handed the package over to him. "Here is a Moon Pie." He told the happy squirrel, already concentrated on inspecting the package.

"Moon Pie." Hammy read for himself the label on the plastic covering over the dessert before tearing it off. He observed how the thing looked, trying to see why it was called Moon Pie. "How come it doesn't look like the Moon? It looks like it's just made of chocolate." Hammy looked back to RJ before looking back to the weird, disc-shaped dessert, holding it up to the Moon, comparing the two.

"Here, Hammy." RJ went up behind him and held onto the side opposite to where Hammy was holding up the sweet treat. Gently, he bent the cookie and it eventually split open, revealing the layers of soft, yellow cake and white, fluffy marshmallow inside the pastry. "The humans must have decided to make Moon Pies like this because they found out that real Moon Pies were disgusting."

"Wow." Hammy was just in awe of the dessert. He watched as RJ took the half that he had and bring it up to his mouth, biting into the soft, and as RJ's moans of satisfaction showed, apparently delicious Moon Pie. Hammy didn't hesitate any longer as he took a bite into his piece and discovered for himself how good the chocolate and marshmallow cake really was.

"Mmmmmmmmmm!" Hammy smiled happily, his tail swishing back and forth, enjoying the taste of the extraterrestrial snack.

RJ brought Hammy back to the base of the branch and, leaning Hammy back onto him as he rested his back on the tree trunk, they happily ate up their little midnight snack. Hammy was the first to finish his food, of course, while RJ took his time, savoring the treat, all the while watching, seeing how happy Hammy was with the gift he had brought for him.

"That was great!" Hammy said, licking the remaining crumbs off of his fingers and around his mouth before turning to face RJ, to watch him finish up the last of his piece of Moon Pie.

"Yeah, it was." RJ agreed, swallowing down the last of the piece of pie. He was a little surprised when Hammy leaned up to him, a strange look in his eyes. "Hammy!" RJ giggled as Hammy licked off the crumbs from around his mouth, all before moving to RJ for a full kiss on his lips. Parting, Hammy stayed close to RJ, just floating in front of him.

"You look so cute right now, Hammy." RJ started, his words a soft and sweet. "You look like an angel." RJ admired Hammy as he smiled a big, wide smile, the Moon once again seemingly bestowing upon the squirrel a soft, iridescent halo, perfecting the image of his innocent and caring love.

"Thanks, RJ." Hammy smiled, still looking so handsome in RJ's eyes.

"You know, Hammy." RJ sighed contentedly. "When I first met you and the family, when Vincent was still around, threatening me and everyone else…" RJ started to explain. "The Moon meant something to me, something bad."

"Why?" Hammy frowned slightly, hearing RJ sounding a little troubled.

"Back then, the Moon was like a countdown for me." RJ started, raising his hand to Hammy's face and gently stroked his soft fur. "With each passing night, it just meant the time when I would be killed was drawing closer and closer…" RJ looked straight to Hammy. "And I felt so hopeless."

"Oh, RJ." Hammy leaned up to him and began to dot kisses on his cheeks, on his nose, on his muzzle, just all over RJ's face. "Vincent's gone. He'll never come back to hurt us ever again." Hammy assured him.

"Thank you, Hammy." RJ said. "You don't know how good it is to hear that from you right now." RJ thanked the heavens and the forces that blessed him with his family, most especially blessing him with Hammy.

"It's okay, RJ." Hammy said, hugging RJ's head close to his chest. "I'm here. I won't let anyone or anything ever hurt you or take you away from us." Hammy said sternly. "Or take you away from me." Hammy added, a tear forming on his eye.

"No one ever will." RJ pulled Hammy back down, looking him face to face, seeing his determination, his resolve to never let that happen.

"You know, Hammy…" RJ broke into a smile, a thought suddenly rushing to his head. "Back then, I used to have nightmares of Vincent threatening to kill me just before he took a bite out of the moon as if it really was a big cookie."

"I think the Moon is actually a big pie in the sky now." Hammy pouted slightly, the thought of the Moon being a big cookie now upsetting him, for good reason.

"I think…" RJ looked to Hammy and smiled to him. "I think I finally get why the humans think the Moon can be so romantic, too." RJ said before slipping his lips over Hammy's for another kiss.

"Yeah." Hammy responded coyly. "I think that too." Hammy said before resting his head on RJ's chest, curling up his tail around their feet, cooing happily.

"Good night, Hammy." RJ whispered to him as Hammy slowly closed his eyes. "Sweet dreams." He stroked Hammy's head gently, helping the little squirrel to sleep. "I love you."

"I love you, too, RJ." Hammy yawned before his head sunk into his soft, white chest fur, drifting off into a happy, dreamy slumber.

RJ, yawning himself, feeling his eyes growing heavy with each passing second, gazed up to the Moon once more before looking down to his love, sleeping happily on top of him. Gone were the nightmarish images of Vincent chomping down the moon in frightful detail.

Now, all he could see was the angel that was Hammy, that restored his hope to him and gave him a reason to look up to the Moon now and smile happily, knowing that his angel was watching over him.

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I hope that you have enjoyed this 'little' extra story from 'Over the Hedge,' once again, characters from the imaginative minds of Michael Fry and T. Lewis, and to DreamWorks Animation and Paramount Pictures for producing such a wonderful film.

This story just started off when I first heard the phrase "Moon Over My Hammy," and my overactive imagination just started to come up with pieces of the story that you have just finished reading. As always, if you have any advice or suggestions, please feel free to review me. All flames will be ignored.

And also, I do believe that we did land on the Moon.

How else were we able to make the Moon Pie, after all? Damn, they're good.

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End file.
